Stube's blog

The Way They Watch Us

Baby, do you see the way I look at you?
'Cause they do
And do you see the way they watch us walk hand in hand?
I swear this was never my plan.

And did you know I could be the one?
I could be there to make you smile
It's a love like I pick up the phone
But you call before I even finish the dial.

I hide what I really feel deep inside
But don't get me wrong, I haven't lied
I know you're not ready to take it that deep
So I stand back, and I'm strong so I won't creep.

Age ain't nothing but a number
And race won't hold us back
You treat me right and hold me tight when we sleep
There ain't one thing we lack.

Give me your hand, baby
Just walk with me
Fuck 'em if they stare
You know this world ain't fair.

I'm learning to catch a good thing when I see it
I'm not letting you go unloved, unkissed
What a sad and lonely life this would be
If this love was missed.

*Bay, it's my pleasure.

From The Courtyard.

Why is the sky this shade of eggplant purple
And why can't I see the stars
No one to reach out to hold my hand
No one to see my scars.

No matter where I go
People are all the same
Ruthless and careless
Oblivious, busy playing their game.

Forgetting where I am
And fading into strangers
I no longer walk the streets
Without constantly avoiding all the dangers.

Maybe I miss the mountains
The way they called my name
Maybe I am tired of being the minority
Of hanging my woozy head in shame.

It's kind of hard to explain where I am
But I sleep alone in a box
Maybe I'm just a lonely addict
And this reality is my detox.

No matter where I go
People are all the same, the same
Ruthless and careless
Obvlivious, busy playing their game.

10 For A Friday.

1. I hate the Beatles.

2. Music is the essence of life.

3. I'm dating a guy 12 years older than me.

4. I swore I wouldn't fuck up like that, but I do it every single time.

5. "Do what makes you happy." - My best friend.

6. Nymphomaniac.

7. I shut down the whole set.

8. I feel like I am putting myself in danger, but it's like a trainwreck. I can't stop it.

9. The planes are constantly watching us.

10. What does happiness feel like?

College = Worst Choice Of My Life?

"You can stand 'em then you drop 'em." - Weezy

Well, I could take that advice, but I'm sure I'd end up in jail for the night. With two black eyes and a broken nose.

So you picture your life and you don't see some things coming down the tracks, I totally get that. But when you do everything by the book and check all of your lists, you expect certain things to go right for you.

I got on campus last week and this is the reality of the situation.

1. Everyone is from fucking Long Island.

2. I hate my suitemates.

3. I haven't done any of my homework.

4. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to pull through first semester.

5. I don't miss home, but I don't like it here.

Could it have something to do with the girls gossiping about me right outside my doorway? Or maybe that 2 kids were shot outside of campus last week? Or the bit of discrimination I'm facing because I am not Korean or Black? I can't sit with them at dinner either. FUCK BEING WHITE!

AND FAT.

Okay, now that that is out of my system. It just feels like something is missing. I know that's friends. People who care. People who aren't selfish and snobby.

"They don't want us to see, what we already know." 

More.

I hate the way you took me down in 3 hours.

I hate the way you whispered for me to go down.

I hate the way you make me feel now that you're gone.

 

I hate how I blushed, the way I moaned, the way you left me open.

I hate how stupid I was.

I hate that I know you're going to throw it away.

 

But this is college, and this is now.

And I love the way you stared at me while I came.

And I love the way I slid my hand down over yours, begging for more.

 

Do you think this is how it's supposed to be?

I think this is a mistake in the making

But baby, I want more.